This is a placeholder. It's early in the morning and I've just run out of steam. Sorry.
Why are you wearing a dress?
It's not a dress or a skirt. It's a kilt.
Why a kilt?
Why not? It's much more comfortable than most bifurcated alternatives, and shows off my great legs. My wife likes it.
What'cha got on under that thing?
My boots. :-)
I'm wearing it properly; travelling regimental, as it were.