BM2K5 (the movie) SF -> BRC Kids Camp Kids Camp Fun Kids Camp Art Car Life in Kids Camp Chazz's Tacos bicycling the playa art cars Dicky / The Temples Passage / Clockworks The Machine / daytime art nighttime art nighttime scenes participant-citizens Center Camp The Man Rangers Lamplighters Contessa treasure hunt The Man Burns BRC -> SF desktops Ranger patch Ranger jacket
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Burning Man 2005: Agent 9 Responds
Agent 9 wanted a chance to tell his side of the story. So, just as I received it (broken into a few paragraphs for readability), here is his take on things. Enjoy.
Date: Wed, 6 Sep 2006 22:19:23 -0700 (PDT)
From: pan montiquilla johnnyana2000@yahoo.com
Subject: Greetings from Special Agent No. 9
Dear Mickey,
I was very excited and flattered to see my photo in the leopard skin get up. I was especially pleased that you said that you enjoyed chatting with me. I also enjoyed chatting with you and all my other ranger buddies.
Having said that, i wish to clear up a misunderstanding that you apparently have. It is true as you put it that I was ejected mid-week but the reason you stated is incorrect. Here is the real storey and I swear on the name of the Danger Ranger that what I am about to say is the Truth, the whole Truth and nothing but the truth.
O.K. so heres the deal:
Without going into details suffice it to say that in 2003 the Badger Ranger threatened to throw me out of Eden. He was quite confrontational; perhaps with good reason or perhaps not. Anyway when we met again in 2004 he was surprisingly friendly towards me. He offered me a Marlboro and we smoked together and he even offered to take me with him on one of his shifts(I had to meet him quite late like around 2 am. I was so excited to be asked along that I made a special point of being at the ranger station at the appointed hour. Ranger Badger never showed, but that was alright and is besides the point)
The point is, that when I saw him at the ranger station midafternoon during Burningman 2005 I was very happy to see him(he was talking on the phone). I waited for him to get off the phone and when he did I went up to him and just to be playful and ostensibly amusing I said to him, "hello, I've come to badger you."(I hope you understand that this was intended to be a humorous remark made for the Badgerman's pleasure)
Apparently Ranger Badger was not amused. His reaction was to make a fist with his right hand which he held out at 9 'o clock and ordered me to vacate the premises. My reaction was to be incredulous and instead of slinking away like a crybaby(which I have learned would have been the correct response) I got right up in his face so close that our noses briefly touched and said something like, "what are ya gonna do, hit me????"
That next thing I new my ears were ringing. The Badgerman had clobbered me in the head and from what I could tell it was with the full force of his(I am guessing) 250 lbs. (plus or minus). My reaction was to avoid any further assault and battery so I ran for my bike in an attempt to quickly get out of Dodge. Badgers reaction was to run after me and grab me as I was attempting my great escape. I pedaled hard and managed to escape his clutches and he cursed me as I rode away towards the outer playa.
I thought I had it made but before too long I found myself being chased by Seadog in his ranger-mobile. We played cat and mouse until a real cop(BLM) arrived on his atv with red light flashing. I immediately came to a halt and dismounted. Shortly thereafter Seadog drove me to my camp and gave me about five minutes to pack up(I didn't have time to get all my gear together so I left my tent and other stuff). And thus was Agent 9 (again) driven out of Eden. I wasn't able to make it to 2006 (after 9 consecutive years) but don't worry, I'll be back.
I am guessing(and I would say that its a pretty good guess) that the Badgerman realizing, after the fact, that he had committed an offence that could easily have gotten him 6 months in the slammer, made up some phony storey about Agent 9 taking a swing at him or some such thing. The truth is that I sometimes have a very big mouth but I am not an idiot and I abhor violence of any kind. (by the way, the italics are not meant to convey some special message. I just hit the wrong key and don't know how to get back to the previous font).
So now you have heard from me the real storey. I don't know what you will choose to believe but that is what happened word for word. I have to confess to you that notwithstanding the fact that I love you for posting my picture and saying how you enjoyed chatting with me, I don't feel very good about your comment that I bullyragged the wrong person. That really does not convey very accurately what happened and it is somewhat degrading. At the least don't you think that I deserve the right to have my side of the storey told, or do you rangers have some kind of Mafia style code of silence?
I hope you will respond.
Very Best wishes. See you in 2007.
Agent 9.
You do deserve to have your side of the story told, and I hope this does the trick. That having been said, onward!
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